About This Document
Use a letter of instruction to record practical information and personal wishes for your family, executor or trustee. It is intended as a nonbinding companion to the legal estate plan. Ask an attorney to address wishes that need legal effect.
The downloadable PDF template is organized into sections that cover the most common needs. You do not need to complete every section. Fill in what matters to you and leave the rest blank. Update this letter whenever your circumstances change, and make sure the people who need it know where to find it.
Where to store this document.
Keep the original with your estate planning documents (in Bancroft's Digital Safe, with your estate attorney, or in a home safe). Give a copy to your executor, trustee, or a trusted family member. Because this document is not legally binding, you can share it freely without concern about formal witnessing or notarization.
How to Write a Letter of Instruction
There is no required format. Write in your own words, for the people who will act after a death or during an incapacity. A workable order:
- Start with where things are. List where the will, trust, powers of attorney, insurance policies and deeds are kept, and who to call about each. This is the page your family will reach for first.
- Add the people. Name your attorney, CPA, financial advisor and insurance agent, and the family and friends to notify, with a phone number or email for each.
- Describe accounts, not passwords. List each account and its institution. Record where passwords are kept, such as the name of your password manager and where the master password is stored, rather than writing passwords into the letter.
- Record the practical wishes. Funeral and memorial preferences, care instructions for dependents and pets, and household details such as recurring bills and who looks after the house.
- Leave legal decisions to the legal documents. Who inherits, who serves as guardian and who manages the estate belong in your will, trust or other estate documents. The letter has no legal effect, so it cannot change them. Ask an attorney about anything that needs to be binding.
- Date it and keep it current. Tell your executor or trustee where it is, and revisit it after a move, a new account, a birth or a death in the family.
Example entries.
Documents: will and trust in the home safe, hall closet; copies with our estate attorney, Jane Doe, (555) 010-0100.
Funeral wishes: cremation, a small service at St. Mark's, then lunch at home; donations to the county animal shelter instead of flowers.
Pet care: Murphy takes one pill each morning with food. His vet is Oakview Animal Clinic, (555) 010-0122. My sister Ann has a spare key.
Where to Find Legal Documents
The template includes a document locator table covering 12 essential items: your will, trust, powers of attorney, living will, HIPAA authorization, insurance policies, deeds, tax returns, vehicle titles, vital records, and passport/military documents. For each, record the storage location and a contact person or note.
This is one of the most immediately useful sections. In the days after a death, families spend hours searching for documents. Having a single reference page that says "the will is in the home safe" or "the trust is with Attorney Smith at (555) 123-4567" eliminates that search entirely.
Funeral and Memorial Wishes
Your family will need to make decisions about funeral arrangements within 24-48 hours. Recording your preferences relieves them of the burden of guessing. The template covers:
- Disposition of remains (burial, cremation, green burial, donation to science)
- Cemetery/crematory preferences and whether a plot is pre-purchased
- Service type (religious, celebration of life, private, or none)
- Specific requests for readings, music, speakers, and location
- Pre-paid funeral arrangements (details and location of contract)
- Obituary preferences and newspapers/websites for publication
- Memorial donation preferences (in lieu of flowers)
- Organ and tissue donation wishes
Do not put funeral wishes only in the will.
A will is often not read until days or weeks after death, usually after funeral arrangements have already been made. Funeral wishes belong in the Letter of Instruction, which should be accessible immediately. Tell your executor and family where this letter is stored.
Key Contacts
The template provides tables for two groups of contacts:
Professional Contacts
Estate attorney, CPA/tax preparer, financial advisor, insurance agent, banker, employer/HR contact, and primary physician. Each entry captures name, firm, phone, and email. These are the first calls your executor will make.
People to Notify
Beyond immediate family, list close friends, colleagues, neighbors, or anyone you would want personally notified. Your executor will handle formal legal notifications; this list is for the personal calls that matter to you.
Financial Overview
This section is not a replacement for a full asset inventory, but a quick-reference snapshot so your family can locate the most important accounts immediately. The template covers primary checking, savings, brokerage, retirement, life insurance, and mortgage accounts with fields for institution, last-four digits, and notes.
Safe deposit box.
If you have a safe deposit box, note the bank, box number, and key location. In many states, a safe deposit box is sealed upon death until the executor presents letters testamentary. Make sure nothing needed immediately (the original will, burial instructions) is locked inside a box that will be temporarily inaccessible.
For a complete asset inventory, use Bancroft's Asset Inventory Worksheet.
Household Operations
After a death, someone needs to keep the household running. This section helps them pick up where you left off. The template covers:
- Recurring bills and payments (mortgage, utilities, insurance, property tax, HOA) with provider, amount, due date, and auto-pay status
- Home and property details (security system codes, spare key locations, lawn/snow service, cleaning service, utility shutoff locations)
- Subscription audit reference (which services to cancel, which to maintain)
This is one of the most practical sections in the letter. Without it, your family is left searching through bank statements and credit card bills to figure out which payments need to continue and which can be cancelled.
Digital Access
The template captures the essentials your family needs immediately: password manager name and master password location, primary email, phone passcode, computer password, and WiFi credentials. For a complete digital asset inventory covering cryptocurrency, social media, cloud storage, and the RUFADAA legal framework, see the Digital Asset Inventory Guide.
Dependents and Pet Care
Your will names a guardian for minor children, but the Letter of Instruction provides the supplemental guidance that a guardian actually needs: schools and teachers to notify, daily routines and activities to maintain, and medical information (allergies, medications, pediatrician).
For pets, the template includes a table for each animal: name, type/breed, preferred caretaker, veterinarian, and special needs. If you have set aside money for pet care in your trust (a pet trust provision), note it here so the caretaker knows funds are available.
Pet care is time-sensitive.
Unlike most estate planning concerns, pet care cannot wait for probate. Pets need food, medication, and attention immediately. Name a specific person to take temporary custody and make sure they know they have been named, before it is needed.
Personal Property Distribution
Most states recognize a separate written memorandum directing who should receive specific personal items, referenced in the will. The template provides space for eight specific items, each with a recipient and a notes/reason column.
Sentimental items cause the most disputes.
The items with the least monetary value often cause the most family conflict. Being specific about who gets the family china, jewelry, photo albums, and heirlooms, and explaining why, prevents arguments that can fracture families permanently.
Personal Messages
This is the most personal section of the letter, and often the most meaningful. It provides guided prompts for writing messages to specific people: spouse/partner, children, executor/trustee, and an open field for anyone else.
The template also includes sections for:
- Explanation of decisions. If any of your estate planning choices might surprise or upset someone (unequal distributions, choice of executor, conditions on inheritances), explain your reasoning. Understanding the "why" makes even difficult decisions easier to accept.
- Values and life lessons. Sometimes called an "ethical will," this is your opportunity to share the principles, beliefs, and advice you most want to pass along. This tradition predates modern estate planning by centuries.
There is no wrong way to write these messages. Some people write pages; others write a few sentences. Both are meaningful.
Charitable and Community Wishes
The template closes with tables for charitable organizations you support (with account/donor numbers and wishes) and memberships or community organizations that should be notified. Some organizations have death benefits, memorial funds, or specific notification procedures that your executor should know about.
The final section is an open notes area for anything not covered elsewhere, family recipes, family history, the combination to the garage safe, or anything else you want remembered.
The Letter of Instruction works alongside the rest of your estate plan. For asset documentation, see the Asset Inventory Worksheet. For digital asset planning, see the Digital Asset Inventory Guide. For executor guidance, see A Guide for Executors. Bancroft households can also write a guided Legacy Letter inside the Digital Safe, a companion to this template for personal messages.